General Advice

The Unwritten Rules: Player Etiquette Guide

A friendly guide to being a great player at the table, covering everything from phone use to spotlight sharing.

Being a Good Player

The DM gets all the advice articles, but being a great player is a skill too. Here’s how to be the player every DM wants at their table.

The Golden Rules

1. Pay Attention

This is the single most impactful thing you can do. When another player is having their moment, watch and react. When the DM describes a scene, listen. Your phone can wait.

2. Share the Spotlight

Notice who hasn’t spoken in a while and create openings for them:

  • “Hey Thorin, what do you think about this plan?”
  • “I step back and let Aria take the lead — she knows more about this than I do”

3. Say “Yes, And”

Build on what other players and the DM create. If someone establishes that the tavern has a singing bartender, interact with it. Don’t tear down what others build.

Combat Etiquette

  • Know your turn: Plan your action while others are going
  • Keep it brief: Describe your action in 1-2 sentences, not a paragraph
  • Celebrate others: Cheer for your allies’ cool moments
  • Accept failure gracefully: A natural 1 is a story, not a tragedy

Session Logistics

  • Show up on time: Respect everyone’s schedule
  • Communicate absences: Give as much notice as possible
  • Bring your own materials: Don’t rely on the DM for everything
  • Help clean up: Leave the space better than you found it

The Secret Best Skill

Take notes. Write down NPC names, plot hooks, and your character’s thoughts. When you reference something from three sessions ago, it makes the DM’s week.